99 Problems

I may have to brb my blog. I have run out of things to say and I think only 4 people read it. Including me.

BEER!

I had a very joyous day already today. After only 3 hours of sleep, I dragged my ass out of bed and went to pick up urchin #3 so her mother could go to work. I got there, and was told, "Oh, I'm calling in today, but I couldn't wake up long enough to call and tell you." Grrr. Visualizing curb stomp. Anyway, after that I went to BestBuy and purchased a new CD. Here is a video for a song off the disc:






Well, that was fun. Afterwards, I stopped by SeLe for happy fun Squishee time and found this:

Amazing. Now, if only they had Duff.........

ABCDEath

Yes, I fucking read HP7. And what do I have to say about it? Fuck JK Rowling. Fuck her right in her scrawny, white asshole with a spiked bat the size of Cuba. Do you know how much of a pussy path she took in this book? The biggest fucking cop out she fucking could. Oooo, who will live, who will die? If you're gonna have that as one of your fucking grabs, then YOU NEED A FUCKING HUGE BODY COUNT, you sodding bint. Kill people! Lots of them! I've seen gay porn with a lees contrived plot than this. And after buying and reading this book, I feel like I've been forced into the aforementioned film. You raped my soul, bitch. You seriously raped my soul and left it bleeding like a transvestite Asian hooker with syphilis on heroin in a Motel 6. When you die, hell will be too good for you. Fuck.

Book count: 22

The Kill

Yay! More book review. So freaking glad pulp is making a comeback.



Book the fifteenth - The Colorado Kid

Despite being a well written, higly acclaimed book that has single-handedly brought attention back to books of the 30's and 40's pulp style, I think this was the weakest of the 5 in this set of books I've read. Having said that, this is still one of the best books I have ever read in my life. I'm not normally a fan of Stephen King. I read "The Stand" when I was in high school. I've also enjoyed "Needful Things" and "The Dark Half." But I can't really seem to get into his books. This one was not a problem for me however. The pacing and plot were well done, characters were fully developed and there was just enough suspense to keep me on the edge of my seat without making it feel forced. My only real complaint is that I have no idea what happened. But that's not important. Great book. Great read. Low price.


Book the sixteenth - The Guns of Heaven

Truly a masterpiece. Set in present times and dealing with the IRA and how it affects one man's life, this book is full of complex plots and gritty realism. I don't want to say too much about this for fear of giving something away, but you'll never look at the Irish the same after this. Well worth the read.


Book the seventeenth - Grave Descend

Very clever and well written tale concerning a sunken boat and it's recovery. Some of the characters feel a little forced into the picture, but work well within the whole of the cast. Altogether, a solid red with an interesting hook.


Book the eighteenth - Lucky at Cards

May I just say that Lawrence Block is the fucking man? An amazing and riveting tale of a man who has hit rock bottom, falling into the best stroke of luck he could hit and where it takes him. A story of lust, betrayal, deceit, revenge and redemption. Well woven.


Book the nineteenth - Bust

Again, well written. Full of twists. Amazing plot with a healthy cast of characters. The crosses and double crosses make for an engrosssing tale. A little slow to start, but picks up nice and quick. By the end of the book, it's a blitzkreig of true noir style. Best of the bunch.


Book count: 19

Ticket to Ride

So, after my last post, I decided to head out and get something to eat and visit the local neighborhood comic shop. However, after obtaining sustenance, it was brought to my attention that one of my tires was severely low. After inspecting the offending tire, I found a bolt in it. Yay! As no one else was open, I had to take it to WalMart. Ugh. I arrived at 3:00 pm and was told that it would take about 2 hours to get an oil change and have my tires repaired. I killed some time at Best Buy, and then had a delicious steak at Applebee's. When I returned at 5:00 pm, my vehicle was not finished with it's oil change and the tire had not been looked at yet. Then, around 5:30 pm, the found out that the lugnuts were on too tight for them to remove. So I had to purchase my own patch kit. I hate WalMart.

The Nigger is Restless.

I'm fucking bored. And when I'm bored, nothing seems like fun. There are days when I wish I was still in Lansing if for no other reason than MSU is close by and there is always something to do near MSU. There's not even a decent arcade over here. And don't give me that Craig's Cruisers shit either. Fuck Craig's Cruisers and their shitty ass kiddy games. The west side of the state sucks. Just fucking bored.

Read A Book

Now, normally I try not to post more than once in a day, because let's face it, I'm not that interesting. However, with that said, I feel compelled to share this critically important, vitally essential message in video format:

If everyone saw this video, then I think the world might start to be a better place. Librarians should use this video to entice the masses into libraries. That means you, Geodge. I just cannot begin to express how amazing this video is. I'm going to watch it again.

Shock the Monkey

I think that Cinnamon Toast Crunch may quite possibly be the most addictive food I have ever eaten. No matter what I've already eaten or how full I think I am, there is always room for one more bowl. Something about the sugary sweetness and the crunch. However, I can't help but notice the downsizing of the baker's positions. I distinctly remember there being three bakers for the cereal when I was a child. What happened to them? Did Wendall eat them? Was there a gang war between them and the Rice Krispies elves? Bears? Inquiring minds want to know.

I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night.(NSFW)

Once again, I'm up all night with nothing fun to do. I've already read half a book, done my work reports, finished a movie I started earlier today, cooked and ate a piece of chicken, had three cookies, watched porn, taken an ice cold shower(not related to the porn), eaten a bowl of cereal, lamented my lack of PS2 and Xbox, watched an anime, applied for a job, and viewed everyone else's pages. It's now 5:00am EST and I'm bored. I would go to bed, except I have to be somewhere at 6:30am EST, and then court at 8:30am EST. Following that will prolly be plasma donation and then sleep. Glorious sleep. Fuck.

I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts

I have had a domicile for around a month now, and furniture for about 2 weeks. Needless to say, my lazy ass has not done much to continue the "Make Your Hellhole A Home" effort beyond unpacking enough dishes to feed myself. That said, earlier today I took the time to unpack about a box and a half's worth of stuff. I say box and a half's worth because it came out of 4 different boxes, none of which are actually finished. But I now have unpacked all my video games, most of my VHS, a handful of DVD's, and 3.1 channels of my surround sound. All things considered, that's fairly ambitious for me.

PS. I'm sure all 4 people who read this know already, but I almost got arrested yesterday. Only by the quick reactions of my dad and grandfather was I able to throw bond together. But I'm curious, does it make sense to arrest someone, potentially causing them to lose their job and only means of support because they can't pay the money they owe?

Back to Black

I have officially found my new favorite webpage. The Assimilated Negro. I have not found a more humorous and insightful nigger since Nick Adams. This is my new bible. Laugh with me people.

The Star Spangled Banner

Apparently, I am now working on the 4th. Now, I understand that lots of fucking morons are going to get shitfaced and act like retards on crack in Cancun for spring break. But why can't I be one of them? Why the fuck do I have to work? And most importantly, why the fuck couldn't they have let me know more than 36 hours in advance. I have a fucking life and I had fucking plans, you douchebag sons of bitches. Now, my plans have been cancelled, and I'm fucking pissed off to no end because I can't make replacement plans for another two weeks. Plus, now I don't get to watch fireworks. I love fireworks and I have to miss them. I wouldn't even be this pissed off about it, if it wasn't for the fact that Wednesday is one of my regular nights off. Fuck this bullshit. I need a new job.


***Update***

Please disregard the previous anger. I'm not working now.

A Pirate's Life For Me.

Yesterday I went movie chaining. Which is my way of saying I paid for a ticket for one movie and then theater hopped to see more. This is my report.

The movie I actually paid for was "Pirates of the Carribean 3: At World's End." Also known as "Let's beat this idea to death." It was a good movie, but given what the first movie was, and even some of the second movie, the plot seemed stilted and the acting was less than convincing. Johnny Depp once again gives a masterful performance, and Geoffrey Rush truly shines. That's pretty much where the good acting stops. And sadly enough, there were so many "plot twists," that my initial assessment of what was going to happen, happened. I felt like, "What was the point of that? Nothing changed! Fucking crap ass Screenwriters."

Being less than impressed by the first offering, I felt entitled to make it up to myself by viewing another movie at no cost to myself. So I looted, pillaged, plundered and pirated(read: walked) to 1408. One phrase to describe this movie? Best mindfuck ever. This movie actually made me jump several times. And Sammy L, while not having the largest part, holds it down. The interaction between him and Mr. Cusack is amazing, on par with McClain and Zeus or Jules and Vincent. The story was engaging and, while unfolded at a slightly slower pace than I enjoy, made for a powerfully intriguing plot point. Well worth the $5.75 I paid for the other movie.

Finally came Fantastic Four: The Rise of The Silver Surfer. Pure popcorn fest. But decent in it's way. Nothing less than what I expected, but nothing more either. Very grateful that Galactus wasn't a purple giant with that awful headdress. Bonus points for naked flaming Jessica Alba. My only real issue with the movie is Mr. Fantastic should never dance. Ever.